A Guys Guide to Mental Health
Breaking the Silence: Addressing Men's Mental Health through Social Connections and Seeking Help
The Mental Health Consequences of Loneliness:The impact of loneliness on men's mental health is substantial and well-documented. A study published in The Lancet Psychiatry found that loneliness is associated with an increased risk of depression and anxiety among men. These mental health conditions can lead to a cycle of further isolation, as men may withdraw from social interactions due to their struggles.
It's crucial to recognize that loneliness isn't solely a mental health concern. The physical health implications are equally concerning. Research has shown that chronic loneliness can lead to a weakened immune system, increased inflammation, and cardiovascular problems. In fact, loneliness has been compared to smoking in terms of its detrimental effects on overall health.
Mastering Adversity
Life often throws unexpected challenges our way, and sometimes these challenges can feel overwhelming. In this blog post, we will explore a real-life story of someone who, despite the odds stacked against them, faced adversity head-on and found the strength to persevere. By delving into their journey, we hope to not only understand the gravity of their struggle, but also discover the profound impact compassion, courage, and seeking help can have even during the darkest of times. By highlighting this inspiring tale, our aim is to provide insights and inspiration for anyone facing their own set of difficulties, reminding them that they are not alone and that there is always hope.
Men's Mental Health: Stories from the Shadows in Canada's Digital Age
In recent years, Canada has witnessed a significant uptick in the discourse surrounding mental health. The country's healthcare institutions, non-profit organizations, and even grassroot movements are actively pushing for greater understanding and destigmatization of mental health issues. This newfound awareness is a beacon of hope for countless individuals, signaling that they are not alone in their struggles and that help is available.
My Journey with Treatment-Resistant Depression (TRD)
I worry constantly that TRD will drive people away. The persistent symptoms, the withdrawal, and the emotional rollercoaster make me fear that those I care about will eventually give up on me.
"Breaking Through the Shadows: A Journey to Understanding"
For over 30 years, I've lived with an unrelenting companion called depression. It's been a constant battle, shaping my life in profound and often painful ways. My name is Chris, and my partner, Joe, is a compassionate and caring soul. We've spent 15 years together, sharing our lives and dreams. But there's been a shadow lurking in the corners of our relationship, one I've been hesitant to confront.
Mental Health Across the Globe
WHY I SET UP THE ANTI-BULLYING CAMPAIGN
A few years ago, I suffered from acute depression and prior to my experience, I had very little understanding about depression and other mental health conditions. This lack of knowledge, (I believe) contributed greatly to how much I suffered.
My success at overcoming it and other discoveries along the path to recovery, prompted me to set-up
LEAD. When I started LEAD Community Foundation back in 2018, it was birthed with a desire to promote mental health literacy in our communities. Be that as it may, a part of our approach entailed detailed research, studies, compiling and analysing statistics to mark possible red lines and causative factors aiding the rise of mental health incidences and its attendant offshoots.
In our study on the post pandemic mental health crisis, we discovered a significant increase in the overall cases of mental health anomalies after the lockdown. Further studies also reflected that teenagers and old people are the most vulnerable and most affected set of persons.
This triggered a restlessness within me to do something about it. Further studies show that associated conditions hinged on post pandemic depression for many adults meant a significant reduction in their overall productivity and for teenagers it amounted to other behavioural conditions which includes bullying.
Bullying in particular, is of significant importance to the LEAD's vision because of its long lasting effect on its victims.
In addition, bullying has a very strong tendency of resulting in a host of others and more serious mental health conditions like Depression, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), Anxiety, e.t.c.
Apart from the above mentioned, the subject of bullying is not one that is easily talked about whether by teenagers or even adults. Statistics indicate that one in every three teenagers are victims of one form of bullying or the other.
It is also important to note that a significantly high percentage of bullying cases are recorded within academic institutions, and as a drawback, most schools within the African continent (particularly in Nigeria) lack well trained professionals to meet this demand hence these issues go unnoticed or unattended to.
Also, most of our school management lack adequate guiding policies to mitigate the conduct of bullies and an accommodating system that helps victims speak out and get help or seek redress. Bullies, on the other hand, have a better leverage to fully carry out their acts based on this lack of awareness and policy framework.
My Ketamine Journey
Deep stuff, I’ll admit I needed to read this about 20 times just to feel like I was understanding some of the more technical aspects of the drug. What jumps out at me the first few times reading through it was “It’s frequently used on dogs and horses” - Shocker alert, what the hell am I getting myself in for?
An animal tranquilizer? - Gulp, this is no slouch medication.
Used during the Vietnam war as a surgical anesthetic. Now this I could possibly live with. #Ketamine was first synthesized in 1962 and approved for use in the United States in 1970.
So, you can see there are very noble attempts to use #Ketamine for positive gain and benefit. That is until (like most recreational drugs) it rapidly became a “Club Drug” often called “Special K” primarily for its hallucinogenic & dissociative properties. Yes, trippy.
Men, Mindfulness & Relationships
Now this is very important for us to understand. When we’re in a threat state, when we’re feeling afraid or when we’re feeling anger, we go into defensive mode. Our motivation becomes taking care of me, protecting, and defending me. By the way, this isn’t our fault. This isn’t even something we’re thinking about. This is an evolutionary mechanism playing out on us. Those emotions come up when we feel threatened and they’re doing just what they’re designed to do, to protect us.
The problem is if you and I are trying to work together on something and my defences go up and your defences go up, it’s not going to work because nothing is getting through. At that point we don’t hear what the other person is saying. We can’t imagine things from the other person’s perspective. It simply doesn’t work that way.
It’s time to Change Your Mind
Humans operate on different frequencies. And if someone disagrees with you, it’s not because they’re wrong, and you’re right. It’s because they believe something that you don’t. If that is true, how can we use that knowledge to influence others and redirect their thinking?
The key is to trick the mind by giving it an excuse. Simply put, by redirecting the focus from right and wrong we can acknowledge that their prior decision or prior belief was the right one given what you knew, but now that the underlying facts have changed, so should the mind.
But instead of giving the mind an out, we often go for a punch to the gut. We belittle the other person (“I told you so”). We ostracize (“Basket of deplorables”). We ridicule (“What an idiot”). All in a vain attempt to convince them that our position on the subject is the correct one.
Misconceptions and Mental Health
Distorted thinking often leads people with depression to judge themselves more severely, causing them to isolate from others even more. Negative thoughts can lead to difficult behaviours, and irritability can lead to personal conflict, which can also lead to isolation. Experiencing sadness, discouragement, and shame almost daily can push people away, move even further into deeper isolation, self-judgment, and soon denigration follows.
The longer the situation persists, the less likely people are to help or be present, which can lead the depressed person to isolate themselves even more. To break out of this vicious circle, we must be able to recognize it. Changing harmful thoughts about oneself can be very difficult. Psychological therapy can help. For some, a spiritual process can also help. Here are some misconceptions about depression.
Mental Health and Work
Mental health myths…
People diagnosed with mental health disorders will never be normal
Individuals with mental health problems cannot hold a job
People who are mentally ill are criminals
Mental health disorders don’t exist - People can control their emotional response
If you are an employer and you recognize the need for a more inclusive and positive mental health workplace, consider asking yourself and your business leaders and colleagues the following questions as a starting point.
Ask yourself the following questions…
More Than Lip Service?
In a recent Lansblog hosted by every Canadians favourite Mental Health Advocate Micheal Landsberg he asks a very pointed question. As Mental Illness Awareness Week (#MIAW) kicks off Micheal wants to know “How can we make it really count?” It’s a question that is much bigger than one blog post and much bigger than a video post could possibly answer.
Or is it?
What’s in Your Bucket
If you do it long enough you can sometimes tell (even through txt) that the person would love to share more but isn’t quite comfortable with it. Wow, do I know how that feels. I remember clearly those days. My own personal years of hell and torture.
A number of years ago I met - by chance - another guy that shared a similar background and story as me. I remember having many twitter and email exchanges. He was so kind and empathetic to me. He was always there to reply, to respond, to offer insight and his perspective because we both experienced similar things.
I thought to myself “This guys is so brave, has it all together. Depression didn’t knock him out.” He was encouraging, thoughtful and even a bit philosophical.
Two things that I remember quite vividly to this day.
Mental Illness Myths
Many of us are currently walking around with either a diagnosis that are no longer relevant because we had a major depressive episode at some time, but now we’re over it and we’re living normally, or we’re going to have one later in life before we have any real chance to live, does that mean we’re not normal? Not so much.
Another big myth is that people who have been diagnosed with mental health disorders can’t keep a job and can’t support themselves. And it makes sense why we think about that, right?
Not exactly!!
Men, Mindfulness & Work
Using Mindfulness to Work with the Three Types of Emotion
Mindfulness involves bringing a present moment awareness to whatever is happening in the present moment. It can be what’s going on outside of us but also what’s going on within us, what’s happening in our bodies, what feelings or emotions we’re experiencing and what thoughts, what words and images are going through our minds.
One of the parts of human experience that can be tricky is how easy it is for us to get caught up in our emotions, into emotional experiences and feel trapped within them. And those emotions can present us with real challenges in our lives, in our relationships and in the workplace too. I want to talk about the different kinds of emotions we have so that you have a way of making sense of all this.
Mindfulness for Men
The pace of work and life is very high and all of this can take its toll, and this is where mindfulness can help. John D, an employee at ABC Inc. participated in a workplace mindfulness program. He was having trouble focusing and coping with work and life stress and would regularly get distracted by colleagues in his workspace and would think about work even after work hours, at times even keeping him up at night. By practicing mindfulness, he became better able to manage distractions at work, deal with stress at work and at home and even enjoy a better night’s sleep.
Mindfulness research is showing that it can support our health and wellbeing and help us be more resilient, strengthen our focus and attention, develop social and emotional intelligence and help us work with others more effectively.
This F@#%’n Sucks
Our inner dialog becomes so important. As men we must learn how to open up, remove our own biases about being weak, about not feeling manly, about not being strong. Why? Because your mental illness will lie to you, it will make you believe things that are not true about yourself. It deceives you into thinking you are worthless, meaningless and unworthy. I too was also living in fear that no one would listen, that no one would care. I bottled up all these feelings inside until one day I was figuratively lost. I don’t remember the exact details. I barely remember the day. I was at work, it was a common inner sense, something was brewing on the inside of me.
Living on the Edge
Among the findings is the revelation that new fathers are also vulnerable to postpartum depression. In Canada, young and middle-aged men are being hospitalized for schizophrenia in increasing numbers. The gender gap among people with mental illness is much narrower than might be suspected. The StatsCan Canadian Community Health Survey on Mental health and well-being found that 10% of men experienced symptoms of the surveyed mental health disorders and substance dependencies, compared to 11% of women. In the United Kingdom, studies of depression show a major shift in the traditional gender imbalance, with depression rising among men and decreasing among women. The greatest evidence of male vulnerability is in suicide statistics. Among Canadians of all ages, four of every five suicides are male. Let that sink in for a moment! Now read that last line again. “Among Canadians of all ages, four of every five suicides are male.”
“Don’t Be Afraid to Start Over. This Time You Begin with Experience.”
“I don’t really know who you are. But man, your story sounds a lot like mine. I have kids too that are young, a young family and work situation that sounds very familiar. I just wanted you to know that your sun will shine again one day. Sure, it’s raining now, it may rain tomorrow and or next week too. BUT the sun will always come out!”
A Guy’s Guide: The Nuts & Bolts
The signs and symptoms of a mental health condition will depend on the type, but there are some symptoms that people can look out for. These include:
aggressiveness, anger, and irritability
changes in mood or energy levels
changes in appetite or sleeping habits
difficulty focusing
feeling restless or “on edge”
a high consumption of alcohol
inappropriate use of drugs
participating in risky activities
feeling sad, hopeless, numb, or emotionally “flat”
having aches, pains, or other physical symptoms without a clear cause
obsessive or compulsive thoughts or behaviours
thinking or acting in a way that causes concern to others or has a negative impact on work, social, or family life
thinking about or attempting suicide
If a person notices these symptoms in themselves or if a loved one spots them, it is a good idea to seek medical help.